I'm in no hurry, got nowhere I need to go Till someone gets in front of me and starts driving way too slow I yell through the windshield like that dumbass oughta hear With the windows rolled up tight and nobody else near

We call ourselves Detroiters—traffic never caused us fear But one slow car on Euclid and we're ready for a beer We're too damn belligerent to take the bridge for free We'd rather pay the toll—that's how it's gonna be

If five folks are grocery shopping, then it's too damn busy We try to buzz around them until we're freakin' dizzy No restaurant can make a meal that we consider right But we don't wanna cook, so we suck it up each night

Amazon leaves a giant box that blocks the whole front door Inside's another giant box, which pisses us off more The damn thing won't fit in the bin, so we drag it through the yard Then burn it piece by piece because recycling is hard

Those idiots fly down our road like they own the whole damn street They're gonna run us over if we ever use our feet We watch them from the window and complain how fast they drive If we ever take that walk, we'll be lucky to survive

The guy across the river blew his leaves most every night So we bitched about him online till he messaged me to fight He said my post upset him—I felt bad about the flak But the damn leaf blower's quiet now, so I ain't taking it back